And it is Sunday.

Today is a really beautiful day outside for the 24th of November.

And it is Sunday.  

So it is the Lord’s day and He has blessed with gathering, worshiping, feasting, visiting and time.

As i take time today to reflect and think and ponder the feelings of my heart . . . i am sad.  

First, I wish I could love myself they way Jesus loves me.

Second, I wish I could easily forgive and love those I am connected to by extension.

Third, I 'want' to display joy because I am so grateful for Jesus in my life . . . He is my hope.  My only hope.  And my desire.  And fulfiller of my deepest needs.  Protector of my deepest fears.  Music in my loneliest night.

Fourth, I wrestle with the effort I have to give with those that do not consider Him worthy enough . . .

Lord, if you took me tonight I would be relieved.  I am tired and weary in this world and I am ready for Heaven and joy and rejoicing and love all around me.

God, go before us this day and EVERY day.  Be with our girls and please make right what Ryan and I do wrong in raising/teaching/guiding them.  Give us wisdom Lord!  Until You take me home, please anoint me with Your wisdom and guide me in the way of truth and righteousness!

Lord, I pray for Brandon Roth and his back.  God, You have granted me a miracle with mine and I'm asking for a miracle for him!

Give, and it will be given to you; a good measure--pressed down, shaken together, and running over--will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you."  ~Luke 6:38

Oh Jesus, help me to keep my hands open after giving so that i can receive your blessing!
amen and amen!

p.s.  thank You sweet Jesus for the lesson today.  For the jog this morning.  For new mercies every morning!

It's the most wonderful time of the year . . . and then . . .

Yes, it is New Year's Day 2019! 

Wait, what???  That is crazy? 

How can I be 47 (turning 48 this year)?
How can Ellen be turning 18 in 16 days and graduating from highschool this May?
How can my sweet Erin be dating our highschool friend's son?
How can my baby be a teenager and finishing 8th grade?
THEY ARE NOT OLD ENOUGH!!!

I was fortunate enough to be with my mom & dad & my grandma today . . . my aunt & uncle were there too - we made New Years Cookies and had soup and conversation for a while.  I am so blessed to be with people I love and who love me . . . what a gift.

Today, January 1, 2019, I am reminded once again how fragile life is in some regards, how quickly time travels and how blessed I am.

God, thank You! 

Dear Ryan, Ellen, Erin & Emily . . . you are so precious to me.   I hope I can be a person whom you look up to, are thankful for and want in your life.  I forever want you in mine.

I have limited my responsibilities this year so as to "smother Ellen" with a momma's love!  God, as the 2nd part of the school year begins, help us to focus on matters of eternal importance.  Help us to be an example in word & deed of You; of love.

Looking back as we prepare to move forward:
Sold & Closed on Park Lane home/Wollmann home.
State Volleyball Tourney in Emporia (1A) 3rd place - Ellen State VB Honors - well deserved!
Ellen college decision:  FHSU; senior pics, no boyfriend; HeartSprings volunteer; piano lessons with Miss Carol, Europe Senior trip (Venice, Rome & Paris), HS Musical solo
Erin - sophomore, VB Starter, Brady Boyfriend, Good student, Cole Street Singers, HS Musical part
Emily - VB Setter, Gertie Green part in play, participated in HS Musical; Basketball PG, still a baby Erma G (smile).
Ryan - still the love of my life!  Working/leading at BCO.  I'm so proud of the man he is and am so thankful he picked me!

So, Christmas is one of the most wonderful times of the year . . . and then the lights come down, the decor put away and I get a little sad for a bit . . .help me to remember LORD, Easter's coming, the Sun will rise and God is on His throne.  Help me to put my hand in yours and let you lead when I'm not sure where we are going.  Bless You and thank You.  Amen.